You know that the refrigerator is just a box full of cold air right?

Boxes have a magical quality. They can make different things the same. They can make many things one. They can make things disappear.  This power, like all power, can be used for good or evil. I find that the more boxes I have around me the more likely I am to use them improperly. The refrigerator is a good example of one of these bad boxes.

... their power can be used for good or evil ...

I don't cook for many people -- usually just one.  I want to cook good healthy food and therefore I often pick up a few vegetables at the store.  When I would get the groceries home I would load up the refrigerator.  At the end of the week, I would go through the fridge and pull out all the food that had gone bad waiting to be used.  I finally decided that I need to stop this wasteful process.  I was wasting money on food that wasn't eaten.  I was not eating healthier.  It was just not working out.

... I was wasting food ... not eating ...

The problem that I determined was that I would not see the food.  It was hidden in the refrigerator box.  When I see kitchens on film there is always food laying around ready to be cooked.  When you walked into my kitchen there were just unappetizing boxes.  No one has ever said, "hey man, that's a delicious looking fridge."  When you are hungry you want food.  If there was food in the kitchen rather than boxes I would be more likely to eat it.

... That's a delicious looking fridge, said no one ever ...

I started by taking out the eggs.  I have them for breakfast, so they are used up fast enough to not need refrigeration.  Then my mother surprised me by suddenly leaving her butter out on the counter in a sealed glass container.  It was super handy and it was warm and easy to spread.  Then I was shopping for vegetables and thought about green onions.  Now, green onions are one of those things that really bug me.  I cannot eat a whole bunch of green onions before they go bad.  So I was looking up storage options.  Someone suggested putting them on the counter in a glass of water.  I tried this, and was completely amazed by the result.  Not only did they stay fresh, but they actually grew.  I increased the amount of food that I bought by simply not refrigerating it -- mind blown.

I'm still at the beginning of this kitchen change.  I've more things to learn, but I have a good feeling about it.  My goal is to get rid of my large refrigerator in time, and just have a small one for those things that must stay cold (uncooked meats, drinks, etc.)

New Roof

This next week the I'm having the roof on my house re-shingled.  Hopefully the weather is cooperative.

I wonder about what is the next thing that will need fixing around here.

When I bought my house I thought that I would create a manual for the maintenance of the property.  I imagined that it would be nice to have a scheduled maintenance book like you might get with a new car.  Something that would list how often the door should be painted, and the sink gaskets replaced.  Every 25 years there would be a roof.  Every six years the kitchen appliances would be maintained or replaced -- and on and on and on.

I've owned the house for 20 years, and I've had to do work on different things.  No manual was ever done, and I wonder if that would have made any of it easier.  Of course, the wise person would turn to me and ask, "Kevin, do you do all the scheduled maintenance for you car?" I would then say something about time and money and blah blah blah.  No a manual would not make it easier to get things done.  Planning would make things easier.  Saving would make things affordable.  Being proactive would make the time available.

If I ever get my home-owner's manual done I'm sure that it will make it here.

How it all goes down the drain

I've been called an "enabler" before.

I submit that the difference between "enabling" and "helping" is that help must be asked for.  Many times enabling is caused by the enabler being stressed out about a situation, and not willing to wait for the person actually involved to figure it out.

I admit that I've done this just yesterday at work, rather than letting a co-worker figure out their coding mistakes, I just re-wrote the code myself.  It was the stress I'm feeling over the time to complete tasks more than my feeling bad for the co-worker that led to this action.

So now I've been dealing with a pair of enablers my whole life, and recently they swooped in with some more enabling, and I'm having to deal with the effects of it.  Specifically, my kitchen sink was not working - and this also affected the dish washer.

Other sinks were working, the bathrooms were fine, and also the clothes washer.  Basically this was just shutting down the kitchen, which as a bachelor farmer, I don't use that much anyway.  In the post-Christmas bill avalanche that comes every year I have to spread out bills as much as possible.  Since this issue was not stopping me from living it was put at the end of my list.

So, at some point in the near future I would be able to take care of the sink, and feel the accomplishment of my plan working.  Also, I would be happy to have the sink back.  If you read my previous post about things I was planning to do to make the kitchen work better, I was planning to buy a dish tub to hold dry dishes until I could get around to washing.  I did this, and it was actually helping with this situation.

 

Not super pretty, but handled until I could get the sink fixed.  Then the enablers swoop in and fix the sink while I'm at work unable to do or say anything about it.  Thus, the motivation of successfully completing all the tasks on my plan is denied me.  This kind of thing could really derail me.

So this is the real damage that enabling has done to me.  I'm not suddenly going to just depend on others to take care of stuff, but I lost the opportunity for that motivational boost to help me through other projects.  I'm re-wiring my brain to be able to accept this as part of the plan right now.  I'll pay the enablers back when I was planning to take care of the original project, whether they want it or not.  

I think we enablers need to learn that help needs to be asked for, and also that our own personal stress is not an excuse to interfere with other people's lives.  Before I force my help on someone again I'm going to do some inner reflection, and ask them if they want help.  If they don't, I won't.

Better Gift Giving in 2016

So how did Christmas 2015 go on the Farm?  It went well, there were family and friends and food and presents and fun.  Nothing really to complain about, but plenty to improve.  This holiday was not the send off I was hoping for the year, and did not provide me with the kind of happiness that years past had.  In fact, I feel that I barely made an appearance this year.

I am looking forward to Christmas 2016.  Hopefully I will be able to do the things I wanted to accomplish last year, next year.  I expect to be more productive, and make better plans, and do all those wonderful things we write New Year resolutions about, and the Farm is how I'm going to get there.

What's going to happen when Christmas 2016 rolls around?  How am I going to make it an even better experience than 2015?  Simple, I'm going to improve myself through better gift-giving.  This is not to imply that I will be giving better gifts, though that is a possibility.  No, I will improve the way I give gifts, and find a better way to share the bounty of the year with others.

So, upon reflection here are the things I've learned about my gift-giving practice:

I worry too much about giving "good" gifts.  I've never received a "bad" gift in my life, yet I spend so much time worrying about the gifts I give, and whether or not they are good enough.  The stress of good gifting causes me to want to stop gift-giving all together.  I know that I'm not alone in this, yet this is really a sign of our problems, not problems with the world.  Giving gifts (if done for genuine reasons) is always good.

I hate giving money as a gift, because to me it feels like I don't know this person.  It highlights my lack in maintaining personal relationships, allowing myself to become too self-focused.  This year I received a gift certificate for new sunglasses.  This was like receiving money, but at the same time it allowed me to get something I wanted (and got to pick the style I liked).  I've been thinking about other people's projects.  I tend to come up with tons of projects every year.  I never have enough help, time, or money to finish most of them.  This year I plan to help others with their projects, with my time and if necessary money.  These gifts will not be held back till some holiday, but will be given throughout the year.

Not all gifts need to be practical.  A hammer is not a gift, it's a hammer.  When my father gave me my first set of tools it was great, not because I really needed a hammer, but because I could work on things with him in the shop.  Somehow, especially when money and time get tight, this concept of practicality rears its head.  The problem with practical gift giving is that it misses the point.  The point is about sharing and showing people that you care.  This year I received a beautiful piece of art that I will now need to build a display cabinet for.  I will enjoy this every day, and think of the person who gave it to me.  I also received a bunch of CDs that were picked randomly from a bin at a store.  Its been fun to listen to something I would never have picked up.  Art, music, food, and fun are some of the best gifts.

Sometimes it is easier to give gifts to complete strangers rather than to your friends and family.  I've often done my office Christmas Gift Exchange shopping before I've done my "important" gift shopping.  This is
simply because there is no expectations for an office party gift.  However, when I start thinking about family and friends nothing is ever good enough.  This year I thought of someone I haven't thought of in years.  A friend of my grandmother, who we would visit every summer when I was young.  Every year this woman would send a tin of homemade chocolate pralines to our house (mmmmmm), and I always looked forward to that.  It was a tradition.  I don't know how long it has been since we last got one of those tins, but I miss them and the person.  Perhaps instead of thinking of gift-giving as the tradition, perhaps I should think about the gift as a tradition.  Something that will come every year.  It's simple and meaningful.  Sometimes there's a little extra, but there is always the tradition.

Giving gifts is wonderful, and making people happy is wonderful.  To become better at this is my goal.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.

Beware of Tree

So, I was informed by a friend the other day that I needed to rake my sidewalk.

This made me think that I've probably not been paying enough attention to the front of my house.  I used to have two sweet gum trees in my front yard.  They are nice trees with good shade and beautiful fall colors, but they have a downside.  The dreaded sweet gum ball.

When one of the trees got killed in a storm not long ago, the issue seemed to be much less; however, I've obviously been overlooking a terrible problem.  I suppose I could put up a "Beware of Tree" sign, and let people watch out for themselves.  However, I should be a responsible tree owner and help my tree to be less dangerous.

Here's what I saw when I went to look at the sidewalk this morning.

It looks pretty harmless, but I recognize that the danger is hiding right at the edges of the walk.  So, as my friend requested I got out my rake and raked all the leaves and sweet gum balls from the edges.

I then swept all this up and off the sidewalk.

After this, I raked all the leaves and stuff from the edge of the lawn back into the lawn, so it want roll out into the sidewalk.

When someone calls you out on something that you are doing (or not doing) it can be a bit jarring.  I have a laundry list of reasons ready to go to defend my lack of lawn care.  I won't drag it out here, but know that I have one -- hahaha.  I had to ask myself if someone wants me to do (or not do) something, should I.  Of course, I want to be a good neighbor, and responsible tree owner.  Therefore, I must do this whether or not I have a valid excuse.  This is part of why I started this blog, and this commitment to improve myself this year.

Please enjoy the safer sidewalk, and remember that sweet gum tree is really a nice tree.

And then the Horse got sick

I was driving home from work last night, when a friend of mine texted me that my headlight was out.

"Oh, Great. One more thing," I thought.

My car is great, it's worked very hard for me; however, there have been some issues cropping up lately.  Last winter a chip in my windshield turned into a crack, which I've been meaning to get fixed for almost a year now.  There is a belt that been consistently screeching at me for a month now.  And, there is some kind of issue with my wheels.

So, I took the car to the shop today.  For three hundred and fifty dollars I received a new headlight, a new drive belt, and new brake pads (installed).  But of course, where did the money to pa for this come from?  Well, yes my job is the basic answer, but was this money already earmarked for another purpose -- probably.

Like the federal government we often pre-spend money, and pretend that we have pre-saved the money to pay for it.  I think it's rather obvious how this leads to deficit spending.  There has to be a better way, but what exactly does that look like?  Stuffing money under your mattress is not the best, though perhaps it's the most honest.  How can you make plans which require money you don't have, without spending the money ahead of time?

There is a common sense financial concept called an emergency fund.  This is the liquid capital that you keep available for unplanned expenses (broken car, plumbing repairs, etc.) -- mattress money.  How to calculate the proper amount to store in the mattress? One thousand? Five thousand? Ten thousand?  What is the answer.

Here is a proposal.  It's the amount of your most expensive month.  This plan requires that you know how much you spend per month; however, if you can cover all your bills for a month, and you aren't living beyond your means regularly, then you can spend a month figuring out how to take care of this sudden issue without missing any regular (expected) bills etc.   You can use this account for any unexpected expenses, but you have to pay it back up.

So this is another plan for the farm this year.  Build up the soil with some emergency fund fertilizer. 

Working on Kitchen

This weekend I hope to get a kitchen redo.  I've created a slideshow presentation to help myself make decisions about what I need to do (kinda like this blog it helps collect my thoughts).  Here is a before picture for those that care.

I see this kitchen as the lungs/guts of the house.  Everything comes in through here, and goes out through here.  There are several problems with that flow (besides the fact that it's a small kitchen).  It's funny how much space is covered by cabinets, and therefore inaccessible.  Wish me luck.